THANKSGIVING EXPECTATIONS

So Turkey Day is over!!! Went quite well at the Haskins house everyone is nice they want to know how you are doing and nothing negative is said to you.

About 3 headed over to the Stovesands and the nightmare begins. Yelling screaming and meanness, only from one person however he (tall old and gray) will remain nameless.

So only one more day here in Ptown and I will be back in Enterprise. Enterprise is looking good at least while I am there no one makes fun of me and calls me names.

Oh yes and this is for Anna: I am thankful for...... sausage in the stuffing....just kidding (actually no I really like sausage in the stuffing)..... I am thankful that you got to go somewhere cool on Turkey day (NYC) I would just be more thankful if I was with you...

SOLICITING

Solicitor: Mam would you like to help the "kids from the Gulf Coast share a Cross"

Me: NO....you should solicit in your own community

Solicitor: Mam would you like to give to the Montgomery little ones and big ones

me: no please solicit in your own community

Solicitor: Mam would you like to help the ozark community police departmant...

me: what I pay tax's a lot of tax's what could you need money for

solicitor: It is to "save" for our police fund

me: what police fund....what is it for what do you do with it

solicitor: we save it until we "find" a cause

me: when you find the cause then ask me for money....please do not call my house at 8 a.m. again

Solicitor: would you like to donate to the Mt. Zion Church

me: Ah....no I am a Catholic we do not share our money with other church's (just kidding I did not say that however I did donate to this church because I knew the person who asked me to)

What I hate about soliciting for "not for profit" it is usually a cause I have never heard of, a cause that does not have a logo or a web site. I also hate people that come from other communities, stay in your own community and get money from them....oh yeah and do not send those 10 year old kids in because I will tell them no also (OK wait I am not that mean I can not tell the kids no and I think the adult is horrible that asks the kids to do that). I also hate getting nickled and dimed to death please quit coming in to my office, please quite calling my house, please quit stopping me outside the win Dixie to help your cult convert poor innocent children into "Christians."

Now do not get me wrong I like to give however I want it to be my choice and feel good about it and give it to a reliable organization that I know will use the money in an efficient manner. I also will donate if someone I know asks me because I feel they are reliable and will make sure the money goes to the organization and not to some preachers pocket.

CAN YOU MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY

Well Thanksgiving is upon us and Billy and I have the same agenda we have every year, two thanksgivings. Well, I am sure you are like well Bernadette you are not the only one, some people have three. Well yes maybe they do however this is my senario.

Thanksgiving 1 (i will not disclose whose house I am at):

So first of all I do not grab that much food (actually it would be considered a normal portion however it is turkey day you are supposed to stuff yourself until you can not breath and since I do not have much room in my abdomen lately it is very easy to do) people are staring and they ask arn't you going to eat....arn't you hungry....you do not have much food there Bernadette. Hey why don't you mind your own business I have two turkey days to go to...keep your eyes on your plate!!!!

Thanksgiving 2 (by the way only 2 hours later): Yelling screaming and disapointment.....Too bad I can not just get drunk!!!! However the dressing is quite good at this Thanksgiving!!!

CRAZY BERNIE

Now do not get me wrong I love pain relievers my favorite Motrin!!!! Motrin rocks for those long runs or those "ladies days." Also I love Dr's especially the ones that remove my moles and leave no scares and the one special plastic surgeon I may use one day, to "perk" myself up.

So why Bernadette are you leaving a link on your blog to the history of pain killers in child birth. Well, I say to you loyal blog readers it is because I saw a video today (circa 1960) on what they used to do to women in the delivery room and the fraze the Dr kept saying to the mother, "as long as you cooperate there will be no pain." By the way the woman was bound by her feet, hands and blindfolded..... Sounds like a kidnapping to me or maybe they had to restrain her after all the Novocain they gave her!!!!!

So after reading my link you may laugh at chloroform, Novocain, needles (in places I can not talk about... that oh yeah by the way Drs do not do any more because they were poking to many babies in the head) yet I have one question to ask you...In 30 years will we be laughing at an epidural also ????

http://wondertime.go.com/learning/article/childbirth-pain-relief.html

PANETTONE

Well it is time to roll out the panettone...........YUM YUM YUMMY!!!!!

Panettone is this awesome bread (yes bread not cookies not cake bread) made with raisins some kind of orange crap and other specks of sparkly goodness (there may be alcohol not sure). I love this stuff it comes plain, with icing (my fave), and now I am seeing chocolate, coffee and other yummy flavors (only Italians could come up with).

So break out the box, yes I said box this treat always comes in a box and toast a slice with your morning Joe.... By the way this stuff ain't cheap a really big one I mean really big probably 12 to 20 slices depending on how you slice it will run you about 37 dollars so hope someone sends it as a gift.......Or better yet wait until after Christmas and they are usually are on sale.

THE SEARCH FOR THE PERFECT NAME

It is hard to pick out a name for someone, especially if you do not know them. For my husband it is easy ..... just use my name it is perfect...........OK whatever. Well my name is neither perfect nor do I want to share it (i am selfish like that). So the search goes on for a Girl name. So what are the parameters to a name. These are mine I do not want a name that everyone has or that everyone in my generation is naming their kid! Nor do I want a crazy ass name that people are like what I thought you named a gerbil that.

So how far does one go in deciding a name for a human being that you have not met yet? Are Winnoc, Verona, Vibian, Thea, Syrus, Sola, or Serafina crazy (these are just some of the many I am contemplating I did not feel like typing them all out and by the way i have not run them by Billy yet either so I am sure a lot of them will be nixed)?

I guess I will find out when my kid comes home from kindergarten saying Tommy (by the way not Thomas because people name their kids nick names down here) said "his mommy told him that my name was weird because we are the Yankees from the north."

By the way I guess the names I picked out are unusual because spell check thought they were all spelled wrong and they are spelled right i promise I got them straight off the saints website.

GIFT CARD JOKE

Now do not get me wrong I like gift cards mainly because I have a tendency to only like what I pick out!!!! So you may say why are you mad at the gift cards Bern? Well this is why.

Back in 1997 (wow more that 10 years ago) I took a basic marketing class and one of the things I learned was a way for Company's to make money were gift cards and rebates. Rebates because people forget to send them in (by the way I will send the rebate in even it is .50 dollars because I want to prove a point (I am really not making any money because the price of stamps). Also gift cards they make money because they plan on you not using the entire value, they plan on you loosing them, and they make sure they expire in 12 months. Awesome, well I got a new one for you.

I just received a Wal Mart Visa Debit: OK, here is the catch I can use it any where I want. However, I can not use it where pin is required (good one who thought of that)....HMMMM well where can I use a debit that does not require a pin......um NOWHERE FUCK HEADS!!!!!! So I call Wal Mart and wanted to make sure I am understanding this correctly..... So I call, oh yeah if I want to talk to some one personally there is a fee of 5 dollars a minute (that was a good one to lets just stick it to the customer why don't we) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WELL F YOU WAL MART I HATE YOU ANYWAY I WILL FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE THIS CARD AND GET EVERY PENNY OFF OF IT AND NEVER SHOP IN YOUR STINKY, SMELLY, NASTY, POOR WHITE TRASH STORE EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!

PICTURE OF A PICTURE

Well first of all this is a picture of a picture so not to clear. However, to me it looks like you are looking up someones nose. Yet, to the smart people out there it looks like you are looking into someones shoulder, go figure. Just to let you know the last picture is what Billy turns into at night.

GOOD SPORT

Billy is home now he had his shoulder repaired yesterday (full tear in rotator cuff....whatever that means if you like I have pictures of the tare). Dr. Andrews did his surgery and the funny thing is Dr. Andrews did his surgery when Billy was in college also. Dr. Andrews remembered him (I think he was on the side lines helping or watching or something I really do not know the details but what a small world).

So now Billy is up and about with a Novocaine block catheter (no not a pp catheter a neck catheter) and this "block" should last until Monday. Also, I rented Billy a hospital bed so he could sleep propped up (oh and maybe I had selfish intentions with this hospital bed, so Billy would be sleeping in the other room I do keep my cell with me so if he needs help he can call).

So hope you feel better soon Billy Boy.

EATING TOGETHER

One of the most important things a family can do is eat together. Here are some of my reasons:

1.) talk time ...this is Billy's favorite time because i can ask him 500 questions and he loves to answer all of them

2.) eat time .... you can make sure you family is eating correctly you know fruits, veggies, grains, meats and soda (no wait soda is not balanced so you soda drinkers even diet soda is not good it eats away at your teeth and bones)

3.) relaxation time: do not eat standing up do not eat in the car relax eat slow (i should listen to my words i can eat dinner in about 5 minutes flat).

4.) also if you have children it is a time to teach manners, social skills, and healty eating habits ...those kids that only eat chicken fingers annoy me (now that I said that my kids will only eat chicken fingers, actually they probably will not they will only know what chicken fingers are if they go to a friends house)

So don't eat standing up or in a hurry call a friend or eat with the fam......or if you are single eat while everybody loves Raymond is on and you can pretend they are your family.

PRESIDENT ELECT

Of course you know who I voted for! However, we have a new president and I am glad. Why am I glad? I am glad because I am hoping for somethings to happen now:

1.) low gas (i like low gas because when it is inexpensive to drive cars people buy cars)

2.) stable market (I really like a stable market I mean I really like a market that goes up !!!! however I can not be greedy)

3.) no more campaigning

4.) a minority as president: maybe people will now realize America is progressive and no one will play that minority card (did i mention i hate the minority card).

5.) i am also glad because hopefully people will give him a chance (the people that did not vote for him) remember he is still our president.

I just have one request Barack (you know since you read my blog and all) please oh please oh please do not raise tax's.

YUMMY

Well I learn lots of stuff in my Bradley Class!!! I am getting smarter and smarter as the days go by. One thing I learned last week is PICA. Pica is when you eat non food items such as cigaretts, clay, starch or buttons the list goes on and on (I would like to see your number two after you ate a button I bet that feels good).

So if you want to learn more about PICA go to the following website it is very interesting I did not know people did such things. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pica_(disorder)

I AM GRATEFUL

I am grateful for people who are not smart. Because when I am around them I feel like the superior human being!!!!! Which makes me feel good.