CAN YOU SEE ME

Well here is my family reunion photo (20% of the peeps were not there). Can you see me I am the blond in the green t-shirt.......Oh wait everyone in a green t-shirt is blond!!!!!!

Enjoy

Yummy

I made a wonderful flank stake last night and everyone loved it.....it is super duper easy and here is the recipie:

1 Flank Steak

5 cloves of garlic

hand full of Rosemary

olive oil

Salt and pepper the flank steak. Chop the cloves and rosemary until it forms a paste (be sure to remove the leaves from the stem on the rosemary).....once you are finished chopping put garlic and rosemary in a bowl and fill it with olive oil (approx 1/4 cup maybe less maybe more you want it thick). Marinate overnight then when you are ready to grill wipe off the marinade because the garlic will burn on the grill and become bitter. I grill mine on high for 5 and 5 (only because i like mine rare).

Easy Peasy Lemon Squesy.

Rember when grilling meat just let it sit and cook do not poke it do not keep turning it let is sit!!!!!

GET READY TO VOTE

Well, Well, Well, it will soon be time to vote for a new president. Duh, you say....it is hard to miss Bernadette!!! While everyone knows I am a flaming Republican I just want to let everyone know I am not out to change your mind to come over to the "right" side (ok that will be the only time I try to convince you).

However, I say "right" side yet, have I have stated anything that supports being a Republic is the "right" thing to do. One reason I am not a democrat is I hate, despise and never ever want socialized medicine, nor do I want to pay more tax's, and I believe in free enterprise...... So are these still good reasons for my choice.....no one will ever know will they ...... just because I believe in one thing does not mean the world (or the united states of America) needs to feel the same way. That is what is so wonderful about the United States of America we can all have our own opinions and ideas!!!!!

So I am not asking you to vote Republican I am asking you to vote for the person you feel is the best candidate....not because a famous person endorses the candidate, not because they are republican or Democrat, because you did your research and you know you made an educated choice.

Oh, Yes and by the way who cares what religion Obama is and who cares what his middle name is...my middle name is Lee spelled the boys way does that mean I am a boy (while the flat chest may confuse you) I am by no means a boy.... Also when Kennedy ran for president, the united states made a big stink about him being Catholic..... and now America honors President Kennedy (by the way this is not an endorsement for Oboma I just want everyone to keep an open mind and not be stupid).

NO MORE SMOKING FOR SARAH

Hell Yeah my cousin Sarah went on the patch today. I am so proud of her, why because smoking is the devil's workshop (this is a saying my mother uses I still do not know what it means).

Anyhoo, give my cousin Sarah some encouragement because you know I will call her ass every day and ask her the big question..."Have you smoked today Sarah?" I have a feeling she might screen my calls.

Yeah, Sarah keep up the good work and stay icky, yucky, cigarette free!!!!

GOING HOME

Today I am going back to the big city of Enterprise AL. So I must be off to pack my car and get on the road.....It will be sad to leave yet I will be back soon.

Fun stories to come.

MOO MOO HEAD

I am sure you have heard me speak of my parents crazy dog Milo. I wanted to let everyone one know how exciting Milo's day's can be so here is a typical day for Milo:

*wake up

* go 1 &2

* follow Bernadette around because she just put on her running shoes and I think I will go with her

* cry at the door because I can not go with Bernadette

*run around the back yard and bark at nothing

*go number 1

* play in my pool

*go on a walk with Bern

*bark and go crazy at Fed ex guy

*bark and go crazy at mail man

*bark and go crazy at birds

*bark and go crazy at squirrels

*lay in my dogie pool

*in the afternoon do the same thing

HELLO PADUCAH

Well, I am here in my home town once again. My dad is calling me to come her while my mother is fixing dinner. How annoying now he is yelling for me to come here..... got to go.......Updates from Paducah to come.

THE KOHNEN'S

My mothers side of the family are the "kohnens, " they originated in Florrisant MO. However, they are now all over the place, mainly in the Midwest I am the only one that lives in the South.....oh yes we do have a liberal in the family her name is Sarah..................she lives in San Fransisco (I will not even repeat what my Grandfather said when she announced she was going to move there).

My point of the Kohnen family: we are having our family reunion on the 22nd of this month. I will see all 16 of my cousins (including their kids which is like a bazillion), I will also see my aunts and uncles. The family reunion is so large that I do not even know about 70% of their names(I guarantee they do not know my name either.....I am know as Phyllis daughter. So wish me luck on my travels as well as all the others that are traveling to the lovely town of Florrisant MO.

P.s. that is my Grandpa with the Governor of MO...he came to my Grandpas house because he knows how important the KOHNEN'S are (or how important we like to think we are).

JOKE

A little girl asked her dad "Dad, where did we come from?" The dad replied we came from God. God made the earth, the animals and the people. Oh....., the little girl replied. "Well, dad why did mom say humans came from mokeys?" The father replied well your mother was telling you about her side of the family and I was telling you about mine.

Ha I thought this was very funny: my priest told this joke before his homily.

My Dinner Party

I have been planning my menu for my BBQ dinner party for two days. Here is what I made:
* coleslaw (organic)
* baked beans (heirloom)
* tomatoes (Cecilian)
* potatoes (from best yet foods they grow fruits and veggies with out pesticides and they are so nice, they are in their 60's and they adopted a little boy about 15 years ago)
* garlic bread (the bread is the only thing I did not make however, I did make the garlic butter)
* Ribs (cooked for 5 hours, and yes I did the ribs girls can BBQ)

When you make everything from scratch this kind of crap takes all day. Yet, I do not mind, I like to entertain. What I do mind is when it RAINS ON MY DINNER PARTY.

Billy had it looking so pretty out side he went and bought a bunch of tiki torches, pulled weeds, lit my trees and cleaned up the back yard. Around 7:00 the food started coming outside, I lit the candles (citronella lots of bugs here), 7:15 RAIN RAIN RAIN!!!!!!!!

So my beautiful back yard dinner party was moved inside and was not as pretty as my back yard dinner party. RATS!!!!

SIMPLE PLEASURES

There is nothing more wonderful than a new pair of socks!!! I love socks they can make an old pair of shoes feel new and bouncy again.

I highly recommend Thorlos (yet for 10 bucks a pop you better save your pennies).

So for those of you who do not know what to get me for Christmas or B day I highly recommend getting me socks yet just remember my feet are GINORMOUS therefore I wear a large.......Oh I like plates to Vietri is my fave.

MY BROTHER DANIEL

My brother Daniel just got back from Miami (with his girlfriend....hello mother were they sharing a room is that cohabitation......you would have killed me if I did that). Anyway Daniel took a sailing vacation. .... What does that mean exactly ......????? he is now certified and can sail a boat...a.k.a Captain...............Now know as Captain dumb ass Dan!!!!!

So my point I am trying to make: Daniel now wants to take the Stovesand family sailing on Lake Michigan over the 4Th of July. NO THANK YOU ...... HAVE YOU MET MY BROTHER!!!!!

Mom just to let you know if you think this is a good idea I will throw a 2 year old fit and embarrass you at the Four Seasons right smack dab in the middle of the lobby.

THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW

Heard this guy on the radio today. I am embarrassed that he is representing Catholic Church and priests. I do not want you to think I am pro Hilary Clinton (because I am not) yet what he said and what he did is very inappropriate especially towards any minority being women, color of skin or any prejudice of your choosing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_H11x6bMu4Y

by the way you will have to listen for at least 2 minutes before he gets into what I feel is inapropriate.

THIS IS HOW IT WAS AT THE STOVESAND HOUSE

While I was surfing the web, I came across a picture that reminded me of the Stovesands at the dinner table on a quite Sunday night (minus one child more than likely minus Daniel because he was kind of bratty).

Actually I am being quite sarcastic our dinners usually (and sometimes still do) consist of yelling, screaming, and quite possibly making fun of a sibling and taking it to far (until there is a fight or tears).

Yet one can still dream of a quite Sunday dinner discussing a math class or tennis.....or bragging on the A you made in school (now I am really dreaming because I never made A's).

Yet, while I poke fun of my family's behavior and how we treat each other I would not have it any other way (well minus the tears of humiliation when your brother calls you Ichabod Crain).

A Bunch Of Crap

This is a forward I received today from a freind of mine...by the way I am a sucker for an email that says you will have bad luck if you do not forward. So not only will I be forwarding this email to all of my contacts I am putting it on my blog for everyone to see.

By the way I am a FISH

ARIES - The AggressiveOutgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

TAURUS - The TrampAggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight.Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward

.GEMINI - The TwinNice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good at confusing people... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Gemini's will not take any crap from anyone. Gemini's like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Gemini's can be very sarcastic and childish at times, and are very nosey.Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER - The BeautyMOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer's Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative Person, most's are artists and insane respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An Ultimate Freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compareSpontaneous. Not a Fighter, But will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO - The LionGreat talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy, but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

VIRGO - The One that WaitsDominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. The do not forgive and never forgetThe one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The OneNice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying... Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Kinda dumb at times. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SCORPIO - The AddictEXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous OneSpontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones will all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate LoverLove to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy. But when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet.Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Alwaysgets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs especially Gemini's in sports. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants.Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

AQUARIUS - Does It In The WaterTrustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind, loves being inlong-term relationships. Can be clumbsy at times but tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy, and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when their not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more then their familiy. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward

PISCES - The Partner for LifeCaring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Messy at times and irresponsible! Smart but lazy. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. Lover of animals. VERY caring, make wonderful nurses or doctors. They always try to do the right thing sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes et used by others and hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to other but need to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN IT IS 98 OUTSIDE

So one thermometer read 106 today can you believe that. Now, this is when the running stops for Bernadette. Just to let you know it is very depressing when you can not run because it is hot as a mother beeper. So I must pick up another activity during this summer and it might be tiddly winks because that is really all you can do when it is so bloody hot.

So what did I do today well I will tell you.

*wake

*drink coffee eat breakfast

* watch food network

*watch food network

* watch E entertainment

* watch food network

*go to the gym

*eat lunch

*drive around town

*go rent a movie

*go eat dinner

*go to dairy queen and then get tummy ache

SOUNDS LIKE FUN ...........................JEEVES.....

CHICKEN A LA BERNADETTE

Well, yeah me I did it I BBQed a whole chicken over a charcoal grill and it could have been described as toothsome (yes toothsome another word for delicious). So for those of you who do not believe Bernadette the Great can not grill well here is a picture for the world to see that I am the most awesome griller in the universe.

If you are wondering why a wing is missing it is because Billy ate it.

By the way I will now be referred to as Bernadette the Great Ruler of Daleville AVE. !!!!!

How Long Does It Take To Light A Grill

How long does it take to light a charcoal grill? Well, for me it takes 1 hour and 15 minutes (jeese).

If you have not seen it already Gourmet magazine has a special grilling issue out this month and I am going to try three recipes out of it. Today I did a flattened grilled chicken (whole chicken I might add)

Scenario:

*75 minutes light the grill (i do not use lighter fluid i use a chimney like devise and the flames from the newspaper kept blowing out.

* prep chickens you must flatten the chicken by pressing down hard....OK here i go press press press.......press....press....squirt....salmonella everywhere......(bleach bleach where is the bleach)

* finally baste the chickens and lay on grill.................HUGE FLAIR UP SMOKE FLAMES EVERYWHERE

* flames die down everything is OK wait 30 minutes to flip...

* beep beep beep timer goes off flip chickens with mighty tongs..............chicken is now in the grass (that is OK that piece is for billy)

* so 80 minutes later the chickens are done...........yeah......have not eaten them yet thought they are for later tonight............

P.s.

after this scenario I have decided I need a gas grill and if you will notice I have attached a picture of the grill I desire....maybe Santa will bring me one.

Lets Make a Catholic Deal Continued!!!

Hello all, just wondering if anyone remembers me ranting and raving about the prize I won on the Catholic Channel (ch 150 just in case you need to listen...) Well it arrived last week while I was out of town and I have pictures to show you.

Now for those of you who do not remember please refer to my post in May, titled "Lets Make a Catholic Deal."

I have enclosed pictures of the bottle opener/toe nail clippers so you can see exactly what I was talking about! First pic is the item itself the second pic are of my Piggy's freshly clipped with my clippers................................................ Just kidding I did not use the clippers to clip my toes (or maybe I did).

Paul Bernie and Danny Boy

These are my two younger brothers, aren't they cute. Do not let those pretty little faces fool you they can be quite EVIL.

I HAVE DECIDED I AM GOING TO BE A FARMER

So, I have always read labels on food...you know calories, fat, sugar, cholesterol (I have high cholesterol), however over the last two years ever since the hydrogenated oil schmeal deal I also read what is in food.

TWO BIG THINGS TO AVOID, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP AND HYDROGENATED ANYTHING. Now you are probably like yes Bernadette, I know this duhh, where have you been!!!!!! Yet did you know you can find it in cereal like all natural granola......WHAT all natural granola you say, yes what about all natural means you can put in a chemically altered vegetable into my cereal.....SO READ LABELS.

As for me becoming a farmer, I am considering it. This is what I would like to raise:

1.) two cows grass fed named Ethel and Bartholmew

2.) two lambs named babe and buddy

3.) all kinds of chickens that lay multicolored eggs (they will not have names chickens are kind of mean)

4.) and then all kinds of fruits and vegetables

I will live on the land and I can do stuff like that since I live in Enterprise Alabama maybe I will grow wheat so I can make my own bread.

BARF-O-RAMMA

Well this week I went home to see the rents and the Grandparents. It was fun to see everyone. Yet, the main reason I went home was to see my high school buddy Sammy get married. I was very excited I had a new dress new shoes and I was ready to see all my old friends. On May 31st I woke up barfing my brains out. I could not even lay down in bed I felt so bad, therefore I missed the wedding and now I am back in Enterprise still feeling crappy. Oh well I guess that is the way the cookie crumbles.

Too Bad I do not have a picture of me barfing.