Be Nice To The Rents

I have spent approximately 10 whole days with my mother. While I love her, why is it hard to be nice?

Here are some reasons why I find it hard to be nice to my mother
1.) her dog pees on my floor
2.) she yells at the microwave when she wants it to open rather than just hitting the "open button"
3.) every phone call on her cell is an emergency she must dump out the entire contents of her purse to find the phone while it is ringing (ever hear of caller Id)
4.) her constant need to redecorate my house or rearrange my furniture
5.) This is the kicker: it is two against one when she is here with out my dad, because my mother and Billy gang up on me and make fun of me....it hurts it really does!!!!

Oh well I guess these are things I can get over yet the dog pee really annoys me!!!

GOOD DAY

p.s.
I have a rule when she comes to my house with the dog....Milo (the dog) has to go to doggy day out by 12:00 p.m. so I can have peace and quite

Back in E Town

Well I tried to fight the Pollen and the Pollen won!!!!! I hate you Pollen (and yes it is Pollen with a capitol p because pollen is mean)!!!!! I am officially sick and tired or am I tired and sick..?..??

So to all you flowers and trees that think you are nice by putting oxygen in the air......... I am asking why so much pollen why?????

Now I must go back to the couch and wallow in my self pity on this beautiful April day.

Bern and Billy in the Windy City

This is my husband and I the day after my brothers 29th b-day. We were up at 4:30 a.m. after a night of margarita's......that is why we look so beautiful.

Just a note: my brother and I are Irish Twins we are both the same age for 30 days.......Mother what were you thinking.

Beware This Is In Poor Taste

Yes I hung these from my mothers rear view mirror. I have been planning this prank for about a month now. In Enterprise all of the rednecks hang these from their "hitch." I thought to myself my mother would think these were absolutely disgusting (and she did).

Once she figured out what these "bulls balls" were she said "Bernadette what is wrong with you, how could you possible think this is funny."

Well, everyone thought it was funny including all of the people my parents had over for dinner last

Sunday night.

I am sorry if this offends anyone this will be my last disgusting joke. I could not resist these "bulls balls," they are the most disgusting things I have ever seen in my life.

Pollen

Pollen Pollen and more Pollen!!!! Could I have any more of a headache, snotty nose, and by the way my left ear feels like there is a stick pen in it............ Geese ....so therefore not a big entry today because I am going to wallow in my self pity about how I feel.

Google Yourself

Well as many of you know I am in P-Town visiting Muffy and Larry. So of course I do not have much to do other than wash windows, fix dinner, wash the dog, and clean my room (hello am I 16 again: this is all the crap my mom makes me do when I come home).

So of course this morning I was on the Internet googling and I decided to Google myself, of course nothing comes up (I guess I am not that important), I Google my mom: she has articles about her work on the the dogwood trail, Google my dad and he has page after page of crap about cars and "FULL TANK OF GAS WITH EVERY DEAL" kind of stuff but here is the kicker my husband has his own definition on Wikipedia. Did you know I was married to a celebrity!!!!!

I guess I need to get going on my Google identity: I am thinking the fastest way to get my name "googlized" is making a space ship out of recycled wine bottles and being the first 30 year old woman to the moon in a recycled space ship..... I think that may do it!!!!

Greetings from Paducah

Hello my fellow friends I just learned of a new blog yesterday from my friend Meg. Have you ever heard of Perez Hilton? This blog is hilarious is speaks of all the the Hollywood "kids" and the smart things they do. Yet, if you are not into that kind of thing I have something else for you.

Do you recycle, have you changed your light bulbs to the new energy efficient light bulbs, do you have a compost pile (cats like to poop in compost, ants like to crawl in compost, I am just waiting for the buzzards but I do not think buzzards eat fruit and grass maybe the vegetarian buzzards will come)? I do all of the above yet do not praise me and I am not asking for praise because I am still a wasteful person. I am just trying to make a point before I disclose the following: the energy efficient light bulbs have mercury in them, which is hazardous. So which is better the energy saving or the mercury in the earth? Do only certain energy light bulbs have the mercury? I am asking because I do not know, I am new to this "Green" ideology that is sweeping America. I am sure my cousin Anna knows the answer....therefore Anna I am asking you to enlighten us because I am sure there is an answer: is there an energy efficient light bulb that does not have mercury in it and is safe to recycle or dispose of?

by the way here is where I go my info:
http://wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=55213

So this week I am in Paducah and I have played a halarious joke on my mother wait for the story like and quite possible pics of some "Bulls Balls"

Save a horse ride a cowboy

Well yesterday I did not update my blog: Why? because I am an ignoramus!!!!! I could not upload any pics of my cat (which was to be the topic) worked on it for two hours then gave up (I give up quickly if things do not go my way).

So why is the title of my blog today "Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy" because I actually saw this on someones truck yesterday and it was not a little bumper sticker it was PLASTERED on his back window!!!! All I have to say is........... MORON!!!!! I mean I could understand if it was a joke and someone put it there for a laugh (good idea for the next time I see my brother's car, watch out Paul everyone in Chicago will think you ride cowboys), but come on, I mean, really.

I feel this person could quite possibly be the smartest person in Enterprise!!!!

By the way did you know you can not recycle the lent in you dryer.

Stay tuned for tomorrows blog I should have my camera charged and pictures of my cat and maybe a picture of me I am not sure yet, I am afraid if I put a pic of myself on the blog it may scare people away and no one will read my blog any more.

Daniel is a Jackass

Bernadette (B): Dan get on my blog, read it and post a comment
Dan (D): no
B: please it is funny and i want lots of comments so it looks like people read my blog
D: your blog is stupid
B: Dan my blog is not stupid it is funny and well written please read it and post a comment
D: no
B: Dan I hate you, you are a jackass
D: your blog is stupid and not funny
B: Dan you are fat and I do not know why Randi likes you because you act like a dumb ass
D: your blog is stupid and I am going to kick your ass in tennis just wait

*this is a dramatization of our conversation yesterday yet, still very close to what was actually was said

This is a typical conversation between me and Daniel I would do a conversation between Paul and I: yet he does not say much and when he does speak you can not understand him nor hear him.

WHAT THE HELL

So today I could not decide what to put on my blog..... I considered the topic of the "TAX MAN" yet even thought I hate tax's America the beautiful is the only place I would like to live. Then on the lighter side I thought maybe I would discuss my two favorite condiments (no not ketchup): mustard and Jelly yet I think I could only get two paragraphs out of that topic and it might not interest too many people (actually the only person it may interest is myself). So as I was watching CNBC this morning (yes I do watch the news about 30% of the time, yet the other 70% I watch full frontal fashion or food network) and you are never going to guess what has happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Delta has purchase NWA.

So how does a company that by the way just recently went bankrupt purchase another company??? Really I do not know I am asking so if anyone knows the answer please tell me.

So now you ask why am I so upset well let me just tell you.

As some of you know I did work (I traveled all of the time) at one time (now I am a lazy bumb with a blog) I flew NWA all of the time I have NWA miles coming out of my ass. I love NWA the people are nice the flights are relativly reliable and I know it sounds weird but the Memphis hub is not to bad.......and i say not to bad because it smells like BBQ yes I said it BBQ (they have a corkeys in one of the turminals so you can stuff your face with pork fat and other sinful items).

Now I fly Delta!@$@1&!?.. I hate delta why? First of all no matter what I always have to connect in Atlanta, not to bad being that Atlanta is one of the biggest airports in the United States. Yet, it is one of the rudest, slowest, and might I ad most crowded I have ever been in and I have been in a lot of airports. The perfect example of why I hate Delta: once when my plane had landed I saw all of the luggage coming off the plane and two of the workers were on the belt dancing while all of the luggage fell to the floor and piled on top of each other, they did not care they kept on dancing (Hmmmm could that be why my husbands bag did not make it to Chicago). You say then to me why do I fly Delta, it is my only option I live in the southeast now and Delta dominates, they have their own little monopoly down here.

So I have come to the conclusion that one I need my own plane (I do not see that happening like I said I do not work anymore so I have no money), two my dad needs his own plane and I can mooch off of him or three ANOTHER AIRLINES NEEDS TO COME TO THE SOUTHEAST because Delta sucks and they are about to "bring down" NWA as well.

By they way so everyone knows I have never claimed I write or spell well so please excuse my grammer and Spelling.

By The Way

Soon I will have fun, hip things on my blog for example:
1.) a picture of my cat
2.) a picture of a "Boll Weevil"
3.) I have to think about it but maybe a picture of me in my 30's if I can not find a picture of me in my 30's do not worry I will find one of me in my early 20's and post that one!!!!
4.) I will not post any pictures of my family because what if some crazy person is out there finds the picture of my family and then starts to harass them: so wait maybe you will not see a picture of "kitty" I would hate for a crazy person to find her and do the unimaginable to her. She is quite fragile as she has been diagnosed with feline lukimia and feline aids!!!!!
5.) Funny stories about my younger brothers who are single and I am sure will never get married because they are mean and malicious.

A person is a MeepMeep when:
1.) Boring
2.) Mean
3.) will not smile at you when you smile at them
4.) does not say hello
5.) always has something mean to say either about someone else or something
6.) basically a poor demeanor

Therefore I decided to name my blog Meep Meep because if you are a Meep Meep maybe you will learn something. Therefor if you post a comment on my blog it must be nice, funny or educational (oh yes you may make fun of me but not other people).

How did I come up with the name Meep Meep well have you ever watched the Muppet's (one of my favorite shows if it was syndicated I would watch it all the time or if they sold it on DVD's I would buy all of them)? Some of the Muppet's do not speak they just say meep meep or other words that do not make sense therefor everything that come out of their mouth is of no use to anyone who speaks English (or any other language for that matter). Therefor a Meep Meep is of no use (and by the way you can have the Meep Meep's while not being a Meep Meep)!!!!