STINKY FISH

So this morning I fixed my usual eggs and toast and to my surprise they stunk like fish.... So do not tell my cousin Anna (she does not like waste) but I threw them away. Then later today I went to get a drink of water from the tap, poured it out because it smelled like fish. Made a Salad for lunch could not eat it....guess what smelled like rotten, stinky fish. So I made myself a Pb&j instead (my taste buds have turned into the taste buds of a 7 year old child).

I am hoping this fish faze is going to go away soon because it is the most disgusting thing that has ever happened to me. Maybe tomorrow everything will smell like cheese cake and chocolate that would be much better.!!!!!!

BIRTHDAY BOY

Well yesterday was Billy's B-day. He did not get a cake (i bought a crappy one), he did not get a present (it should be here today), and he did not get a B-day dinner (i was so tired and we kind of got in a fight...my fault but i am blaming it on my tiredness).

I know I am a bad wife however, I figured I had an excuse(extreme reflux and exhaustion). But in all fairness Kitty (our cat) did not sing to him or get him a present either.

So Happy Birthday Billy hope today is better than yesterday. I bet you will feel better when we go to our baptism class tonight because I know how much you love going to church.

MY 12 WEEK CLASS IS OVER

Before I start on my Bradly Class let me let everyone know, how a mother and father decided to give birth is completely up to them and I am not telling anyone there is a right or wrong way of doing things I am just letting you know about how I am doing things. However, I still love the comments because I know one "Garg" imparticular who thinks I am crazy.... That is OK to each his own!.

So Billy and I finished our Bradley class last night and I am very glad. So I figured I would just let everyone know what I got out of it and why I have decided to go this way.

At first I decided to do the class because I was on the fence about drugs during labor I knew I did not want to use them however I did not know why. Well now I have done my research and I have taken my classes and here are the conclusions I have come to on, why I am going to do a Bradley Birth.

1.) Schedule: I love a schedule, and the sooner my baby is on a schedule the better. So one of the quickest ways to get your kid on a schedule is establish feeding. If you have a birth with out an epidural or pitocin (pitocin will keep your milk from coming in, in a timely manner) your baby will be much more alert and will be able to feed when it comes out of the "baby box."

2.) You will be able to walk around after giving birth and you will be able to get back to normal(walking will move your blood around and contract your uterus back, nursing will contract your uterus back also so for all you ladies that want their tummy to flatten out I recommend nursing if you can). If you have an epidural you are going to have to wait until the epidural wares off to walk around and even go number 1 or 2 (if there is any number 1 or 2 left). Not to mention when you have an epidural it is a vicious cycle of epidural (which slows the labor down) pitocin which speeds the labor up (and makes your contractions 3x's as worse as they really are), epidural again because you had pitocin, oh yeah here comes the catheter because now you will not be able to go to the bathroom by yourself.... wait there is more constant fetal monitoring (now you are strapped to the bed because they have to monitor the babies heart beat because the pitocin or the epidural may make your baby go crazy)..... wait there is even more, now you need an IV so not only do you have a tube in your "potty area" you have a tube in your hand and you have a band around your tummy to watch the baby. So do not plan on going any where until the baby is out of the "baby box."
3.) women who are not induced and do not receive an epidural only have a 10% change of having an Cesarean while women who have an epidural and pitocin have a 37% chance of having a Cesarean.

4.) I just can not bare being tied down to a bed

5.) giving birth in the squatting position opens your pelvis up 40% more than laying in a bed therefore easier for Mr. or Ms. baby to "head on out" you can not give birth in the squatting position if you have had an epidural because your legs are numb.

Now these are the reasons I have decided to go with the Bradley Method....however, I have not done it yet I may wimp out and decide to let the nurse stick that big ass needle in my spine!!!!! Now all I have to do is figure out if I am going to cord blood bank or not!!!!

Oh yes these reasons I have just given are not the reasons the Bradley teacher will tell you "you should try a Bradley Birth" these are my reasons. Bradley goes much deeper into what pitocin will do to your child, what an epidural will do to your child, what excercies you should do (every pregant women should do pelvic tilts this one is a must), what to eat (80 to 100 mg of protine a day and try to buy as much organic as you can) and how to establish a bond with your child. So if you ask a Bradley teacher "why should I do a Bradley Birth" they will not even address what I just blogged about.

Next baby topic "Baby Wise" how to get your baby sleeping thought out the night!!!! By the way if you do the Bradley Method and then do "Baby Wise" the Bradley people will think you are mean (Baby wise is a very strict schedule to get your baby to sleep and eat)!!!! So again to each his own!!!!

MILO

What is wrong with this picture? My parents are in New Orleans and my brother Daniel is whith them however, Daniels girl friend (Randi) is taking care of my parents dog. She sent me a picture of the MOO MOO HEAD after his bath. By the way Randi, you should charge my parents for this service because it is no easy task to watch over that dog. I recomend charging 1500 dollars a day or maybe 3500 a day!!!!

TO CORD BLOOD BANK OR NOT TO CORD BLOOD BANK

So at beginning of pregnancy one of the first things the nurse asked me was are you going to Cord Blood Bank? HMMMM well, first of all what is it and why? She really did not know so she gave me some info and I did my research (I did this research back in Aug.) I came to the conclusion there is a .005% chance that I would use the cord blood so why not donate it to someone who has a life threatening illness and they can use it. So easy breezy!!!!!! Ah no it is not easy, it is very hard to find someone in my area to take it. Now if I lived in a big city with a research/teaching hospital that would be easy they would come get it personally. So now what do I do, do I bank or do I throw away.

I have a hard time throwing away something like that, it would be like throwing away blood, or a liver (way maybe not as extreme as a liver those are pretty important) so what do I do..... If anyone knows anything about donating cord blood please let me know I do not understand why I can ship my cord blood to a bank but not ship my cord blood to a research hospital? Also I found some info (who knows if it is lagit) that if your kid does not use it there is a 75% chance that it will not be able to be used by someone in your family.

I am also feeling guilty about donating the cord blood beause eveyone is making me feel guilty for not banking it. So what would you do? Oh yeah and the only place you can find info on cord blood banking is from the cord blood banking institutes themselves (and they have some serious sales people they call you once a week if you sign up on their website to get info).

WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO?

Before I start on my Vaccine soap box I just want my readers to know I will Vaccine my child......The question is what Vaccines are necessary.

After working for the "Drug" industry for a year I am leery on their intentions. Bottom line to them is money (nothing wrong with money, I like money however, what comes first health or money). The drug companies find sneaky ways to teach Docs how to use drugs off label (ever hear of Cytotec, OBGYNS use this to induce labor.....watch out ladies this drugs side effect is "ABORTION" if you look in the PI it will state do not give to pregnant ladies...yet it is widely used, also known as miso, or misoprostol), they have lobbyist to get insurance, Medicaid and medicare to make their drugs mandatory first choice for scripts, they have drug reps that spend 250-300 a head on dinners to promote their drugs. So that being said I have to know my shit before I make a decision with drugs.

So now I have to find out what Vaccine does my kid really need? What is actually bad about a vaccine, is it the quantity of vaccines we give children or is it the content of the Vaccine? Oh yeah and when you do research, where do you get a reliable source of info(I am not a Dr. I do not understand all that crap)? If you go to Barnes and Nobel there are a bazillion books on vaccines? If you go to the Internet you find the radicals that say do not vaccinate or you must vaccinate (I want the person that says vaccines should be done al a cart for example the whooping cough is now making a come back so I will get that vaccine and so will my kid).

Oh yes just to let you peeps know I am not knocking the pharm industry (well maybe a little) I like them I need some of those drugs (especially tazorac after pregnancy is over my face will be line free again). If I ran a drug company I would run it pretty close the same way they do now,(however I would take away a lot of the drug reps and spend more money on educating nurses and docs on their field and drugs) again if you are a publicly traded company bottom line is profit and you do want the companies to make a profit so they can continue R&D (because I want them to come up with a pill that will make me look like I am 24 again).

So the first vaccine I have to make a decision on is hepatitis B: you contract hepatitis B either though blood or sex. Well as far as I know my baby is not sexually active and I do not have hepatitis B, so should I wait? Why does my kid need this? More than likely he/she will not get it from a blood transfusion since they check blood now, so the only way he/she would get it would be thought sex and since my kid will be perfect I will not have to worry about that until he/she gets married (you know since I was perfect).

Driver

According to Fox News Obama drives a Ford Escape. Thought this might be interesting info to the "Obamanites" out there.

FANCY SCHMANCY

APPROXAMENT COST OF BUSH INAUGURATION= 45-50 MILLION

APPROXAMENT COST OF OBABMA INAUGURATION= 160-150 MILLION

WAWAWAWEEEWA

source fox news

NOW I KNOW WHY

For those of you who do not know back in the day I was a drug rep. one of my drugs was the ever so famous NEXIUM. Well my training has come in handy lately because I have acid reflux. At first I thought it was because I was eating to much so I cut my portions, then I thought it was because I was eating high fat food like peanut butter, then I thought it was because there is this baby in my uterus pushing against my stomach. I think the latter of the three is the correct answer.
Well all they say is true about acid reflux, the tummy ache, the crap coming up in your throat and the HEART ATTACK FEELING (at night and morning I feel like I am having a heart attach my arm goes numb and I can not breath....NICE).
So for all of you women out there in your child baring years get ready for ACID REFLUX it sucks.... it will also keep you up at night with throat pains and heart attack symptoms.

It's Mephisto Time

Approximately 7 years ago my mother bought me a pair of the ugliest shoes I have ever owned. I told her she was stupid and I was not going to ware those old lady shoes. Well, one day I slipped them on (I could not find my flip flops) and was hooked.

I buy a new pair every year. Now I do not buy a new pair every year because the style changes or there are new colors (I do not think these shoes have changed since est. so we are talking out of style or maybe never even in style). I buy a new pair because that is all I ware all spring and summer. I ware them so much by August they smell and are worn out. I should probably get two pair a year and switch them, so the stench will be a little less stenchafied. So if you see me in my beloved Mephisto's I am not a hippy I am just ohhhhhh so comfortable in my shoes and do not want to take them off. I do not know what is better ugs, new balance or mephisto's ......... I think they all tie.

CRAZY LADY

I was in the Dr's. office yesterday reading magazines and an article caught my eye. The article was about obesity and the women "fighting" obesity. This women pickets McDonald's, harasses her gym (because one weekend they were giving away ice cream), and goes on Fox News accusing America of the epidemic. HMMMMMM I think she is 50% correct.

I believe her tactics are incorrect. Do you take away guns from people thinking they will not use guns, do you make alcohol illegal in hopes that people will not drink in excess, do you shelter you kids from "bad" things so they will not participate in "bad" things (well maybe to an extent I would never take my kid to a drug dealer however I would teach them about drugs so they will not use them), oh yes and the scariest of all do you take away sex from minors so they will not have premarital sex (not sure how you do this I guess a Chasity belt???).

The answer is no you do not take away you teach, teach, teach until you are blue in the face. If you want America to not have an obesity problem teach children to eat correctly it is OK if you go to McDonald's every once in a while it is not OK if you go three times a day!!!! It is OK if you have ice cream at the gym once in a while it is not OK if you do it every time you work out. So I say to this lady ...quit being so excessive maybe if we teach people instead of eliminating, people will be able to make the correct choices..... I mean God did give us Free Will for a reason.

MOVIE TIME

I love a romantic comedy!!!! I do not like movies that are rated R, have violence, naked people, naked sex scenes, sexual reference, scary or about things that may scare me (like earthquakes or tornadoes or hurricanes). So that does not leave many movies left for me to watch (we rented forgetting Sarah Marshall the other night and i was so pissed however, that is another story for another time, oh yeah and burn after reading that pissed me off also).

So now for the creme de la creme, BRIDE WARS BITCH'S!!! I can not wait. Now I know what you are going to say...Bernadette, you know what is going to happen, you are not going to learn anything, and it is about two women fighting over wedding crap!!!! OH well, I do not care I still can not wait to see it. Why, I think it is because i like pretty stuff: pretty clothes (which they will be waring), pretty places (new york and the plaza), oh yeah and pretty fiance's (the two boys are quite cute I might add however, not as cute as Billy Butt). So I will let you know how the movie goes however, I am sure you know how the movie is going to go... Here is my prediction Bride best friends, Bride fight, Bride make up!!!!

BERN BILLY & DAN

This is a picture of me, Billy and Dan. This picture was taken on Christmas eve by Dan's girlfriend Randi. Now before she took the picture I said faces only if you get my stomach I will hate you. Well, she tried but I do not think she tried hard enough you can still see part of my "bump." So I threatened her with an ass beating. I wonder if that is going to far?

BRING YOUR OWN BAG

So for Christmas my sister-in-law gave me a bunch of reusable bags (I completely agree with bringing your own bags to the store however, I do not like to buy them they are like $1 and I know it only costs them .000005 to make) very good gift I might say!!!! So Saturday I brought my reusable bags in the the grocery store and told the check out girl I brought my own bag. She began bagging my groceries in plastic bags anyway. I assumed she did not hear me so I told her again. Um mam I brought my own bags you do not have to do that. So she took my groceries out of the bag and THREW THE BAG AWAY!!!!

AAAAhhh hello that defeats the purpose. I did not say anything because the little shit was already mad at me for bringing my own bag. So what do you do? Do you explain to the 16 year old that I do this so millions of plastic bags will not be in a land fill nor be suffocating poor dolphins in the ocean (I have to do little things like this to make up for my air conditioner being at 65 during the summer)....however I feel if I did try to explain she would not care just like I would not care when I was that age. Oh well I tried to bring my reusable bags to the Winn Dixie However I am sure it might take a couple more times of my excellent example before they catch on.

SOLAR POWER

My husband the one who only recycles because I make him (last night he said he is the only one in America that has to wash his trash.... I am 100% sure he is not), loves solar power. He wants our entire house run on solar power. Sounds good to me I said do some research. I informed him that some states have programs that let you lease the panels and they pay for instillation and then the state lets you deduct the payment from your tax's....

Well just to let you know after doing research Alabama is not one of these states. However, Alabama will give you a deduction if you go cut down a bunch of trees and burn them (no joke). Maybe if I throw some asbestos on top of the wood along with some gasoline my deduction will even be higher!!!!!!

COMMON SENSE

So the New Year is here I am a completely different person I have overnight become nice, beautiful, thin, a philanthropist, and did I mention nice a caring. NOT!!!!! I think it is so funny when people really do think (I am not joking they really do think) that the slate has been wiped clean and they can start a new. Oh yeah, the people also think they become a new person on the 1st of January. UMM does it not take a lot of work to change old habits?

Now do not get me wrong if you decided to make a better you, I think that is great. However, you know you do not have to wait for the New Year you can be a new you every day. So for example if I say I am going to read and not watch TV (i will not be doing this it is just an example). If I watch TV it is OK I can realize it turn it off and read my book. I will not become this "reader" over night I will have to work on it (especially if it is non fiction).

So all you New Years resolution people out there I think it is great if you make a New Years resolution just remember work on it and if you break it, its OK just keep working on the resolution, more than likely it will not happen overnight!!!!