WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER RUDE?

Of course I have never passed gas, I am a lady so please realize I am not talking about myself.

I consider it rude if you pass gas in the car and one do not warn the person and two do not roll down the window. I think any normal human being would consider this rude. The person I was in the car with will remain nameless, however you know who you are, and it is not funny to trap me in the car with you when you pass your disgusting gas!!!!!

POI

My mother is always onto the latest diet. Now when I say diet she is not trying to loose weight she is trying to lift her skin, clean her liver, thicken her hair, oh yeah right now it is her colon!!!

So now what is she doing she is eating this nasty rice that taste like water called POI. I looked it up on line and it is what people feed babies!!! I have no idea why she is so weird but she is. She told me she needs to eat it for her colon (diarrhea). I said mom maybe you should try eating normal food that normal people eat and you would be fine. No Bernie I do not think so I need to be very nice to my colon. Well mom the last time I check poi would not be considered nice, it is considered disgusting.

Oh yeah poi is cooked down rice so with double the water so instead of 30 minutes it is cooked for 8 hours!!!! MMMMMM YUMMY!!!

EASY TOMATO SAUCE

2 CAN (BIG ONES IN THINK 26 oz)-RESERVE JUICE AND CHOP TOMATOES (i use a scissors)

1 carrot shredded

1 onion finely chopped (i like yellow for this)

fresh (FRESH) THYME ABOUT A TABLE SPOON

4 CLOVES OF GARLIC CHOPPED

1/4 CUP OLIVE OIL

HEAT OLIVE OIL SAUTE ONION (APPROX 5 TO 8 MIN) ADD CARROT GARLIC THYME saute (3 to 5 min more) add tomatoes and let simmer for 30 min and whala cheap yummy tomato sauce .... add some noodles and cheese and it is a veggie meal fit for a king.

This kicks store bought tomato sauce's ass because it is not sugary and it has a better texture than the jarred crap.....not to mention the ingredients above are the ingredients in the sauce not red dye number 23 or some sort of weird ass name that you do not know what it is.

By the way you can use this for anything I use it on veal and tonight i am braising short ribs with borolo wine in this stuff. I recommend making a big batch and you can turn it into whatever you want. Dilute with chicken or veggie stock and make a soup or even better dilute with cream and make a calorious soup. You can use this for what ever and when ever!!!

RUNNING ON EGGS

So now a days I still try to get my run in, however it has turned more into a slow jog (Billy could walk next to me if he wanted to) to maybe even a waddle.

Now running in my condition has its complications (mainly just fatness trying to move.... don't worry it is fine to run in my condition Dr. gave me the green light) however running after eating eggs complicates things even more.

Do you remember my entry a couple of days ago about I have to eat two eggs a day. Well, this morning I ate two eggs and then went and ran about 3 hours later (you would think those little eggs would be thought my stomach and into my colon by now). Now I feel like I have a brick in my stomach. My husband would say I have the "egg burps." If you would like to know what the egg burps are you will have to ask my Father In Law (I think it is what he calls lazy fat people).

THIS MORNING

Billy: Hey Bern some girl asked me to be my friend on face book, I do not know who she is she graduated in 2007 from UK.

Bern: nice

Billy: she was in her swimsuit

Bern: what....did you accept her as a "friend"

Billy: yeah

Bern: you are an idiot....why did you do that she is 10 years younger than you she just wanted you to see her in her swim suit...you are an idiot!!!

Billy: she may know me

Bern: I don't care

Billy: she lives in Seattle she may know me I want to figure out who it is

Bern: RIGHT!!! You are an idiot whatever ...how did you sleep last night, I slept like shit....oh yeah you are an idiot.

By the way in case you care above is a pic of Billy's new friends. I may become friends with the entire football team at UK just to make it even.

TWO EGGS A DAY

So my Bradley teacher wants me to eat two eggs a day every day. Now that sounds like a lot of eggs to me. I guess I am going to have to do a little research because when it comes to eggs I really only like them with cheese (I think that may defeat the purpose).

Also not egg whites, you may have thought that the yolk was the bad part and you should take that out because of cholesterol (at least I should because I have high cholesterol). However, the yolk is just as good for you as the white maybe even better because it contains half the protein of the egg plus the vitamins and the "good" fats your body needs for your brain and crap like that. So I guess I need to get cracking on the egg thing ...... if you have any recipes for eggs (other than egg salad i do not eat mayo it makes me want to barf) let me know because like I said the eggs I know how to make have butter and milk and cheese and I think that may defeat the purpose.

LAZY ASS PEOPLE

I was wondering is it really that hard to put your shopping cart away? I went to Wal Mart today ( the place I hate with a passion however sometimes i am forced to go), and I watched three people just roll their cart into a parking spot. Why this erks me!!!!

1.) pure laziness: come on people it is like an extra 10 steps to put it away.

2.) safety: that cart could roll and hit a car or roll and hit a child, or better yet roll and hit the lazy ass person that left it there.

3.) employees: on a day like Sunday it would be best if you could help the employees, they are very busy so be a respectful customer and put your shit where it belongs.

The lady that pissed me off the most as she was getting into her black celica, she left her cart right in between her parking space and another when the cart rack was approx 6 spaces over. I feel this is a representation of how she lives her entire life ..... lazy and half ass!!!!

Please no comments on how negative I am, I am quite aware of my bitchyness you do not have to tell me!!!