SLUM DOG

Billy took me to the movies last night and we went to Slum Dog. Dothan AL finally got the movie (it takes a while for stuff to catch on down here it is still not in Enterprise).

It was oh so sad, I did not expect it to be so sad however, it had a super duper happy ending (thank goodness, when there is not a happy ending I can not sleep at night).

So if you have not seen the movie I highly recommend Slum Dog however, there is one scene that freaked me out and I will just call it the "poop scene." If you have not seen it you will know what the "poop scene" is when you do see it.... I am surprised the little boy did not get Hepatitis A!!!!

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Some one sent me this in an email do you think it is for real?

Danny Boy

As I have said I have two brothers. Paul and Dan, Dan is the youngest and lives in Nashville. Daniel is very easy to make fun of one because he is the youngest (and ohh so easy to make fun of) two because he is a metro sexual!!!!

For those of you who have never been to Nashville let me give you the low down. The young hip (so they think) kids are as I would describe as "country fashion forward." For example the men will ware their designer jeans with a tight shirt (cow boyish) and fancy boots (I hate this look I am more of a traditionalist when it comes to men: Levis and a button up and your hair needs to be short not shaggy).

So my brother Dan emails me a picture (he emailed me this picture so I could have more ammo to make fun of him, I know he did .... at least he is a good sport about being made fun of) of his boots, so here they are take a gander.

By the way I do not know where Daniel will be able to ware these boots because the dumb ass has been kicked out of every barn in Nashville (so have fun waring these at home watching your pirated videos dumb ass)!!!!

BILLY WILL EAT ANYTHING FOR MONEY

So this morning Billy and I had our normal breakfast of eggs and toast. After breakfast Billy went and played paint ball and I went for my walk. We met back at the house around 12 and ate lunch around 12:30 (just a reminder breakfast was at 7:00 a.m.).

As we were cleaning up lunch I said to Billy I will give you 100$ if you eat these left over eggs (that have been sitting out since breakfast). He looked at me looked at the eggs and did it with in a 10 second time frame!!!!!!!!!!! What, you did not just eat that did you (says Bern)? ..... Yes, I did, now pay up!

So I had to come up with 100 dollars which is a lot for me since we are on a budget (a tight one this year). So I have lost most of my spending money this month to gambling (never thought I would say that).

By the way my husband is officially gross for eating those nasty left over egg bits!!!!

GLUE STICK

There is nothing worse than licking an envelope, so I have an idea for you peeps out there ( this idea is not green i know because of the plastic when you could just lick the envelope yourself). Get a glue stick!!!! Now when I pay my bills no more licking the envelope and tasting yuck-o sticky crap on the envelope.

Not to mention for a little entertainment you can make fake buggers out of the glue and gross people out!!!!

A FEW IF MY FAVORITE THINGS

So my top three favorite things (in this order) sleep, food, and running. So how do you feel when your top three are taken away from you..... crap, crap, crappy!!!!

My dream in three weeks is to take one Tylenol PM and sleep for 10 hours straight.....however like I said that is a dream, I will have a new Friend that likes to eat every three hours (dam it)!!!

I think if women had babies and men had mammary glands that would be an even triad off (so women carry the child and men feed them.......ohhh wait even better if we were like penguins and women laid the eggs and the men had to keep them warm (all winter).... while men are keeping them warm we can eat, sleep and run or just go shopping).

PHYLLIS IS COMING

My mother is coming to visit and she is bringing her dog YIPPY!!!! Here is our conversation recently:

Me: Mom did you bring Milo's choke collar

mom: no he does not need it

me: since when

mom: he does not need it with me

Me: mother all you do is walk the dog across the street to p and then back in the house you do not walk him

mom: why are you so mean

me: did you bring his bark collar (this collar sprays citronella in Milo's face when he barks it is awesome)

mom: no I forgot

me: mom i will not be able to take it if your dumb dog is barking all over the place

mom: Bern Milo is such a good boy he would not do that

me: whatever.... when are you leaving

mom: ahhh i do not know

me: what do you mean you do not know

Mom: well i was thinking around 5 to 10 days

me: interesting wait until I tell Billy he will love that

Just to let you know my mother no longer wants to sleep upstairs she wants the room next to the nursery. Also she has left my dad by himself and he is having surgery tomorrow on his mouth and has to call a driver to come and pick him up!!! Sorry dad your wife is crazy!!!